Seeing is believing

One thing that I have always tried to do is not discipline one of our children if I don't see them doing whatever it is they shouldn't be doing. I try not to hand out punishment based solely on one of them telling me the other did something or based on the hollered accusations that sometimes fly freely around our house. Recently the wisdom of this was brought home for me.

It was late on a Sunday afternoon so I made a quick dinner for the kids and they sat at the bar to eat. Phillip started swinging his feet and kicking the bar from his barstool. Robbie asked him to stop and he did. A few minutes later he started doing it again. Once more Robbie asked him to stop and he did. A few minutes later we hear the familiar thump of his little feet bouncing off the bar. Robbie told him a third time in a very no-nonsense tone to stop kicking, and he did.

At this point Robbie stepped outside for something and I went to the front door to clean our new storm door. While I was cleaning the door I heard the thumping start again. Resisting the urge to holler at Phillip from my spot at the front door I put down the window cleaner and headed for the kitchen. As I rounded the corner into the kitchen I saw Phillip sitting in his seat with his feet tucked under him. Beside him sat Kylie, swinging her feet and kicking the bar. Both of them were eating their dinner and watching television (nasty habit, we're working on it!) and had no idea I was standing there. About that time Kylie hollered "Phillip, stop kicking the bar!". Imagine her surprise when I said from behind her, "It's kind of hard for him to kick the bar when he's sitting on his feet, don't you think?".

I wish I'd had a camera to capture the look on her face when she realized she was busted. She made a feeble attempt to shift the blame to her little brother, but quickly realized it was a waste of time. Instead she gave me a sheepish little grin and returned to eating her dinner. After delivering a short talk that touched briefly on the concept of "framing" someone and the potential ramifications associated with that I returned to cleaning the storm door, extremely thankful that I had taken the few seconds to walk to the kitchen and see for myself what was happening.