Room mutha'

The call from Mrs. S came the second week of school, asking if I would be the room mother for Kylie's class this year. She explained that she needed someone that she could put in charge of classroom projects who would gather the materials necessary for the projects and coordinate volunteers. Of course I said yes, that really isn't the kind of request that one turns down. I knew at the time it was some sort of twisted cosmic joke, that somewhere in the universe the gods were laughing and saying "watch this". Being room mother requires two of the things that I dislike doing most of all, relying on other people to follow through on things, and calling people I don't know on the phone.

In my role as room mother I have to call the other parents and ask them to supply various items for special projects Mrs. S's students will be doing. So far I have had to request gumdrops, headbands, pipe cleaners, spices, sheets, pumpkins, paper towels, and aluminum foil. Some of the items I have just supplied myself; I figure that way I know they will be there when they are supposed to be. Truthfully that would be my first choice for all of the projects, but it would get pretty expensive! Instead, I dutifully work my way down the list of parents, making sure that I take turns and don't ask the same people for things all the time. From the time Kylie brings home a list from Mrs. S requesting various items for a project until the project is completed I worry. First I worry that I won't be able to find people willing to donate the items or volunteer and either the kids won't be able to do the project or I'll end up having to buy everything and volunteer. Then, once I have succeeded in lining up people to donate/volunteer, I worry about whether or not they will remember to do what they have committed to doing.

I've never been great at group things. In college I absolutely hated group projects, the very idea that my grade depended on the quality of someone else's work and their level of commitment made me sick. While I'm far from perfect, I am extremely conscientious. If I say that I'm going to do something I do it to the best of my ability, come hell or high water. I have noticed in my journey through life that not all people share this ideology. There have been many times that I have been disappointed by people telling me they would return a call, get information to me, or do something for me and then failing to do so. Maybe I'm just a control freak, but I would much prefer to do something myself because then I know that it will get done.

The other part of being room mother that I'm not loving is calling people on the phone to ask for things. Apparently I suffer from some sort of phone anxiety, because I always get nervous about making these calls. Before each call I rehearse what I'm going to say, and as I dial the phone I can feel my cheeks getting flush and my pulse quickening. Part of it is that I don't like asking people I don't know for things, and part of it is that I tend to be shy (although over the years I have gotten pretty good at hiding that!). The most recent round of calls I made resulted in four parents not even returning the message I left for them. Of course I interpret that as meaning they aren't interested in donating/volunteering. so it will be twice as hard for me to hit them up the next time I need something (I'm such a wimp!). Logically I know that it's more likely that they either got the message at a time when they couldn't return the call then forgot about it, or they inadvertently deleted the message, or maybe someone else retrieved the message and they never got it, but there's still that little insecurity there that makes me take it personally.

So far I have coordinated four projects for Mrs. S's class without any disasters. Everyone has sent in what they said they would send and nobody has been mean to me on the phone. I have a spreadsheet all set up that has each student's name and phone number, their parents name, notes on when I have called and with what result, what they have sent in and when, and if they have volunteered. I have the organization part down, I just need to work on increasing my nerve when it comes to calling people and trusting that they will do what they say. All things considered I think this will be a good experience for me. It's outside my comfort zone which is probably someplace I should venture a little more often. My name is Edie, and I'm the room mutha!