Love is...

(My intention was to post this on Valentine's Day, but I didn't get a chance to finish it until today.)

Valentine's Day is nice in theory, a day to celebrate love, who can argue with that? Unfortunately it has been commercialized to the extreme. Instead of love the focus these days seems to be on flowers, chocolates, jewelry, and other material pursuits. Rob and I were discussing the sad fact the other day that of all the couples we know (that aren't family), we don't know many who are truly happily married. I think the premise behind Valentine's Day is partially to blame for that. Too many people think that love is all about flowers, chocolates, jewelry, and endless romance. That's nice, but it's not reality. Love is about what's left when the flowers die, the only evidence that the chocolates ever existed is lovehandles, and the jewelry is left sitting in a box somewhere awaiting a special occasion.

Among other things, for me love is...

• taking the van to the gas station on Sunday afternoon to fill it up so I won't have to during the week.
• coming home from the beach on a hot summer day with sand covered, tired children, to find that when he got home from golfing Robbie vacuumed the house, did all the laundry and put it away, then having him offer to bathe the kids and take us all out for milkshakes after.
• helping me clean up Kylie's bed after she threw up all over herself in her sleep, without being asked.
• sharing a sweet Kahlua cigar under a sky bursting with stars on a February night when the thermometer is hovering around 8 degrees.
• calling from work, hearing a demanding preschooler, an overtired infant, and a wiped out wife, and saying "don't worry about dinner, I'll bring something home for all of us".
• buying a strawberry cheese croissant when you're on a diet and hiding it in your wife's briefcase so she'll find it when she gets to work.
• calling on the way to the airport at the start of another business trip, and leaving a message on my cell phone thanking me for being a wonderful wife and mother, and reminding me to take care of myself while he's gone.
• calling me at work just to make sure I made it there safely.
• coming downstairs after putting the kids to bed to find a glass of wine waiting for me in the kitchen.

Love is about the stuff that happens when you least expect it, when nobody else is looking. It isn't always as pretty as a bouquet of flowers or as sweet as a box of chocolates, but it grows, endures, and whether given or received, is the most precious gift there is.

My Funny Valentine

Kylie's teacher recently asked each of her first graders to write a poem for Valentine's Day. This is Kylie's:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My dog smells,
And so do you.

That's my girl...