Funk'd

Lately I find myself given to giant sighs and walking around with my shoulders so tensed up they rest just slightly below my ears. I have been in a funk. There has been too much going on, too many things to do, too many places to go. Just when I think things might be improving something else comes along to add to the confusion. Here is a short list of things that have been on my mind: my Dad's surgery and subsequent recovery; Rob's classes that are quickly coming to an end and what help I need to give him in order for him to pass; Phillip's birthday (today!) and party (this Friday night); the family Christmas Eve party (at our house this year, we can expect anywhere from 40 - 60 people to drop by during the evening - give or take); decorating the house for Christmas; trying to get the mudroom "finished" with wallpaper, etc. prior to the Christmas Eve party; Christmas shopping; my "room mutha" duties for Kylie's class - currently helping to plan a going away party for the student teacher, soon to be helping with the holiday party; trying to make time to go in to the office with limited childcare; Christmas cards (I really wanted to "create" my own this year using Adobe & some digiscrapping stuff!); and of course the normal, everyday business of raising three children, two dogs, two cats, and a husband...

I'm not sure if anyone knows I feel this way. I am by nature a happy and easy-going person and it really takes a lot to get me down. I'm pretty good at rolling with the punches, I don't complain, I don't whine, I just keep it all inside and eventually it gets better, usually. This time I have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting, but "stuff" just seems to keep coming. I came home one day last week to find one of our dogs had diarrhea all over the new mudroom tile (and light grey grout - ack!) so that had to be cleaned up; Bella had a virus over the weekend and was just not herself, so of course I worried about her (fortunately she is now back to her incredibly happy, sunshiney self!); my Dad didn't feel up to coming to Thanksgiving dinner at my brother's house so that sucked; we weren't able to find a Christmas tree we liked to cut the day after Thanksgiving like we always do so we're looking again this Saturday; okay, enough!!!

Anyway, my point in writing this is not to throw myself a pity party, rather to proclaim that this morning on my way to work (Phillip is with his aunt Brenda who is no doubt spoiling him rotten, and Bella is with my parents who are no doubt doing the same!) I had an epiphany - nothing is going to change until I change! Instead of waiting for things to improve it is time for me to suck it up, put a smile on my face, and get on with life. This is Bella's first Christmas season and I refuse to ruin it by being in a funk. I am so blessed to have healthy children and be surrounded by a loving family, all of whom are in good health. We have a beautiful home, financially we're doing fine, I have no right to be in a funk! All of the things I have been "funking" over can be dealt with, some easier than others, but there is nothing life-threatening or catastrophic, nothing that can't be "handled". Once I determined that and gave myself a swift mental kick in the rear I felt better. I'm smiling again, and my shoulders haven't tensed up once this morning (not even when I talked to my boss who is returning from California and would really like me to try to come into the office for a few hours tomorrow morning - even if I have to bring the kids - even though I was hoping to use tomorrow and Friday to clean, cook, and prepare for Phillip's party - not even then!!). I'm back!!